Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
