Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
