Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
