Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
