All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
