I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
