i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
youre lurking in front of me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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