How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
