Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When are your genitals available?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
