He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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