Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
