I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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