I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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