Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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