Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
