honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
