Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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