there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
