People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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