apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
