i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
