you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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