Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
