her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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