Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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