I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
