I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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