I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
