I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
COCAINE IS GR8
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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