I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
