Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
