i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
