So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
