I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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