I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize