I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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