I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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