Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
