The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
