how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
