If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
