If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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