I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
