Whod you bang
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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