I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
