...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
