Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
