did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
