you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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