watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
