Heybabeimwearingurpanties
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
