so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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