oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
