Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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