So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
