We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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