I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize