I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
