ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
