i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
