He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is wine microwaveable?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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