you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
